This Guest Post is by Steven Shaw. Steven is happily married and a father of four. He is a graduate of Christ For The Nations Institute and is currently attending Southwestern Assemblies of God University. He recently wrote this letter for a close friend’s son who graduated High School and is leaving for college. You can see more of Steven’s writing on his blog, FromTheShawBrothers, co-authored with his brother Joel.
You too can Write for inMessment…
As a teenager we look forward to getting to the point when we can decide things for our self; things like, where we go, what time to go to bed, who to hang out with, what to buy, etc. When we finally arrive at that grand age when life’s decisions become more ours than our parents, we typically hope there are lots of options from which we can choose.
We want car options, college options, career options, stock options, healthcare options and certainly, mate options. However, options require making a choice, making a choice means making a decision, and making a decision can at times be very hard. Nevertheless, this is what we wanted – to choose for our self.
Having options really is a wonderful thing. Options enable us to judge and empower us with authority. They give us a sense of ownership and independence. It is true: having options gives us freedom, but having them can also keep us imprisoned. The difference between whether or not you will find freedom or a paralyzing set of shackles is whether or not you have the right decision-making keys.
Making Decisions Separates Men From Boys
I believe that the ability to make decisions is one quality that separates the men from the boys. At this point, I’m not referring to the skill of making GOOD decisions. I’m referring to the ability to make a decision, period – good or bad. Too many young men simply avoid making tough choices; it is like they are frozen by all the options so they simply drift along so that their decisions are made for them. This is a sad state to live in.
Too many men have missed out on getting married to a wonderful bride because while they stood in limbo, the prospect moved on. Too many men are floundering in the What-Do-I-Want-To-Be-When-I-Grow-Up Abyss because they don’t want to choose something that they may not enjoy down the road. They don’t want to feel trapped in a bad career choice, so they simply trap themselves in indecision.
Indecision Stems From Fear
I suspect that this inability to make decisions ultimately stems from fear. On the surface it sounds like “I don’t want to miss out on what is best.” Or “I don’t want to make a mistake.” But often those thoughts are symptoms of deeper fears, e.g., The Fear of the unknown, The Fear of losing interest, The Fear of being wrong, The Fear of Failure, The Fear of missing out, The Fear of regret, and so on. Rarely is indecision unrelated to a fear of some sort.
Of course, I’m not endorsing hasty, uninformed, recklessness born out of impatience. Rash decisions have their own set of fears and associated problems too. Clearly, due diligence, research, prayer and counsel are aids in good decision-making. “Sleeping on it” and weighing carefully the consequences of one’s actions are not characteristics of indecision. They are qualities of wisdom.
Wisdom Is The Key
Because the quality of life we live is determined by the decisions we make, merely being able to make a decision isn’t enough. A high-quality life comes from making good decisions; and if there is one key to good decision-making, it is wisdom.
Wisdom is the prompting to do the right thing. If Knowledge is having the map and Understanding is the ability to read the map clearly and apply the keys, then Wisdom is the skill to actually navigate from point A to point B while considering all the variables that come into play (E.g., wind direction, weather conditions, pirates and other stuff the map could never reveal.) It is this skill that is so vital to good decision-making, so vital to being a man.
Proverbs 4:7 (ESV) says, “The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom,
and whatever you get, get insight.” The writer of Proverbs pleads for his son to take serious the pursuit of wisdom and the book of James tells us to ask for wisdom from God who gives it liberally when we seek it from Him.
My admonition to my friend as he takes off into adulthood echoes the Proverbs: seek earnestly for wisdom. Don’t take it likely; the world already has too many fools. I believe if you make your first choice to follow the voice of wisdom, then you be equipped and unafraid to make good decisions all your life.
good word, Steven.